Is My Anger A Problem?
Submitted by Elisabeth_Davies on
There are two factors that typically elicit an anger response in human beings:
1. Feeling hurt or unjustly treated physically, emotionally or financially.
2. An intolerance for people or situations not adhering to the way we think is right.
As long as we are expressing anger in ways that are not destructive to ourselves or others, it is healthy. When our anger is used to control, intimidate or dominate it is problematic. We are allowing the situation that provoked our anger to control us.
Anger problems are typically learned through role modeling our parents, or people who have an influence on us growing up.
What are the costs of staying angry?
An anger problem disallows for closeness in our personal relationships because it is not safe to be vulnerable with an angry person. Anger problems also inhibit us from having peace of mind and take a toll on our mental health. Physically, anger takes a toll on our heart. Jerry Kiffer, MA, a heart -brain researcher at the Cleveland Clinic’s Psychological Testing Center, found that anger expression causes high cortisol and adrenalin levels that cause a cardiotoxic effect. “It causes wear and tear on the heart and cardiovascular system.” Frequent anger may speed up the process of atherosclerosis, in which fatty plaques build up in the arteries. Kiffer says anger makes the heart pump harder, blood vessels constrict, blood pressure surges, and higher levels of glucose in the blood and more fat globules in the blood vessels. Scientists believe all this can cause damage to artery walls. *
How do we get rid of an anger problem?
In order to get rid of an anger problem, we must focus on what is in our control. We are not in control of what other people say or do. The 3 things that are in our control are:
1. What thoughts we give our attention to
2. How we want to feel about what happens
3. How we want to respond to people and situations.
Each time you catch yourself feeling angry, ask your self, “Is what I’m angry about in my control? If it is something that someone said or did or a situation that occurred that you did not directly cause, the answer is ‘no.’ Now ask yourself, “How do I want to think about what was said or done? How do I want to feel about what was said or done? How do I want to respond to what was said or done?
Some other effective strategies to get rid of an anger problem are:
• Forgiving everyone who has wronged us in the past. Each time we recollect a memory that provokes anger, say “I unconditionally forgive (persons name) for saying or doing (unjust act).” This releases negative emotions attached to the memory. When you are able to recall a memory, without any negative emotions, you have forgiven.
• Taking a temporary time out from what is provoking our anger. Walk away and take deep breaths to breathe out the anger that has built up in our being, until our heart rate slows down.
• Exercise. When we exercise for a minimum of 30 minutes, it burns off cortisol- the hormone that is released when we are angry or stressed. Exercise also releases endorphins that help balance our moods
• Having a consistent healthy anger outlet, so we do not store anger inside of us. Stored anger can turn into rage or hate. Talk out your anger, without yelling. Write it out by journaling. Play it out through sports, music, or enjoyable activities. Use creative outlets such as art, building or making things, or acting.
• Seek professional help from an anger management expert, to gain skills that empower you to process and manage your life challenges in healthy ways.
It is better to be slow to anger than famous;
it is better to have self-control
than to control an army.
-Proverbs 16:32
Written by Elisabeth Davies, MC
www. GoodThingsEmotionalHealing.com
* How Anger Hurts Your Heart By Kim Kam, Web MD Magazine, 10/31/20-11