Submitted by Elisabeth_Davies on
I recently finished writing my third book, Good Things, Love Emotional Healing Journal (scheduled for publication in 2012!). I felt inspired to share a few important things I have found to be helpful in understanding what real love is, and to know when our thoughts, words and behaviors are loving.
So, what is love? Websters Dictionary* defines love as a profoundly tender passionate affection for another person, or a feeling of warm personal attachment. We may feel a warm personal attachment to someone, but real love is expressed through our actions not our feelings.
Clint Black says it best in his song, “Something That We Do.’
‘Love is not just those words we said, or someplace that we fall. Love is something that we do.’
Actions that demonstrate love include:**
· Patience- each time you are calmly enduring with someone, you are being loving.
· Kindness- each time you say kind words or do acts of kindness for someone, you are being loving.
· Unselfishness- each time you say or do something for someone, without an ulterior motive to benefit yourself, you are being loving.
· Forgiving- each time you stop blaming and grant pardon to someone who has wronged you, you are being loving.
· Protecting-each time you keep someone safe or guard them from harm, you are being loving.
· Trusting -each time you believe and place your total confidence in someone, you are showing them you love them.
· Hoping-each time you anticipate an optimistic outcome without evidence, you are emanating love.
· Perseverance-each time you are diligent and work hard to enhance your relationship with someone, you are being loving.
Mastering all eight of these loving qualities can take continual work on ourselves. There may be some qualities you feel you have already mastered. With some people, expressing loving qualities can be very challenging. I have these qualities of love taped to my bathroom mirror, as a reminder to act lovingly with each person.
For many of us, we tend to look to other human beings to feel loved, or validate that we are lovable. Expecting human beings to demonstrate real love all the time, is where a lot of our hurt and emotional pain can stem from. Marianne Williamson makes a very good point in her book, Return To Love.*** She reminds us that God is the source of love, not human beings. When we are seeking more love, we need to go to the source of love and ask for more. As we allow ourselves to be filled with more love, then we have more love to offer others. We cannot give someone something, that we ourselves do not have. This is why being more loving starts with us first.
Be patient with yourself.
Be kind in your thoughts and actions to you.
Forgive yourself of the wrongs you do.
Protect and defend yourself, from those who harm you.
Trust and believe in you, regardless of the mistakes you must admit to.
Hope for the best for yourself.
Persevere and problem solve through everything, for good all round health.
This will grow more love in you.
Be sure to share the love in you with others and you will grow more love in everybody else too (=
This article was written with love <3
Elisabeth Davies, MC
Resources:
*Random House Websters College Dictionary. New York, Random House, 2001
**Life Application Study Bible. the New International Version. Colorado Springs 1983 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
***Williamson, Marianne. A Return To Love: Reflections on the principles of A course in miracles. New York, Harper Collins 1992
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